Editors: Bekah Caden and Annie LaHue

Released: 28 October 2018

Persephone’s classmates stare at her as they try to determine if she is the “dark concubine of Hades” featured in the tabloid. Persephone turns around to see one of her classmates looking at her and gives him a cheerful wave. He finds this terrifying. The professor calls the class’ attention, and welcomes them to Introduction to Biochemistry Theory. Persephone looks around the room self-consciously as all of her fellow students are typing on laptops and she only has a pen and paper. The professor hands out a pop quiz.

Thetis is getting dressed after her affair with Zeus in his office. She tells him not to be concerned, because she knows how to keep a secret. Zeus insists that this is the last time, and that he was just stressed this morning. Thetis is unconvinced, since he says that every time. She tells him to zip up his fly and then turns to leave his office. She sits down at his computer to do a bit of personal browsing before answering emails, when she comes across the tabloid article of Hades and “a nameless flower nymph.” She relishes this scandal, and she calls Minthe to rub it in her face.

“I’ve always been skeptical about the longevity of your ‘treat ‘em mean, keep him keen’ approach.”

Thetis

Thetis and Minthe greet each other with insults, and Minthe asks how Thetis is doing. Thetis says she is keeping Zeus busy, and Minthe responds with condescension over Thetis having to have an affair with a married man. This angers Thetis, who then smugly says she only called because she is worried about Minthe’s financial situation. Minthe asks if she is drunk, as she has no clue what Thetis is on about. Thetis asks if she had seen the tabloid this morning, to which Minthe replies of course she hasn’t since Hades monitors their internet usage at work. Thetis sends her the link to the article, and Minthe is shocked. Thetis says she is worried that Hades may be looking elsewhere. Minthe insists it’s just a picture, but Thetis eggs her on, saying that it’s more than that. She insists that Minthe needs to get her sh*t together, as her “treat ‘em mean, keep him keen” approach may no longer be working. Thetis advises her not to go crying to Hades, reminding her that crying is for wives.

They hang up, and Minthe runs into the bathroom, where she tries to squish her chest together to try to make her boobs appear bigger, before angrily shouting that the girl in the picture isn’t even his type.

Hades has been trying to get in touch with Persephone, but he keeps getting her voicemail. He starts to head out to try to find her, but Hecate tells him that is not a good idea. She tells him that seeing them together may make things worse, and he envisions a sad Persephone on his arm, paparazzi surrounding them, and snapping photos. He admits that he definitely doesn’t want that to happen, but they are interrupted by Minthe shouting at him from behind them.

They are stopped in their tracks as they both agree that Minthe has finally seen the article. Minthe angrily charges toward Hades, saying she now knows why he ghosted her all weekend.

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